Spring Awakening

I've always thought of spring as a good time for renewal. Everything that's been dormant for the winter comes back to life. My garden, currently, is starting to come up, oblivious to the fact that this is Nebraska and only March and it could still find itself covered in snow a month or two from now. Everything seems so optimistic this time of year.

People make new year's resolutions, and the gyms flood will people in January who think they're ready to make a change, but by this time most of those people have disappeared. They're back on their couches, visiting the local drive thru, given up on whatever it was they set out to do. January really isn't a great time for resolutions. Everything is bleak, winter lasts forever, the sun never shines, and hibernation seems like the best way to go. If I designed the calendar I would move New Years to April.

This time of year I feel like gearing up for something big. Some new challenge. My mind is in the preperation phase right now. Deciding what it will be, how it will happen. What my life will look like a month from now. I'm still going along like winter, putting in the hours at the gym without a huge focus or deadline, doing my best on nutrition, but mostly sailing along. But internally I'm shifting gears. Ready to explode into spring, fired up and with a singular goal in mind.

Spring officially starts in 15 days. Daylight savings is in one week. Both are great times to start a new life. So I'm officially decided that, next Monday, will be MY day. No matter the weather I will bundle up and hit the bike trail. Whether it's just a quick ride up the street and back again (likely, considering the Nebraska winds this time of year) or a full-blown excursion, I WILL ride again. My goal for this year is to BECOME a biker. And it starts now.

This past year has felt like a waste in so many ways. I know I've come so far mentally, emotionally... but physically it was one giant backslide. I mentioned in my Trek recap that I've gained quite a bit of weight this year, all due to poor eating. While I've been working on stabilizing my moods and working hard in therapy to heal past traumas I've let my eating slide. And although I'm still working out with Marty, five sessions per week, this knee injury has slowed me down considerably. Add thirty extra pounds to a bad knee and you have a recipe for disaster. I haven't been able to push as hard, go as fast, do as well at most of the things we do in our workouts. Lame lunges, wimpy squats, one-legged push ups and walk outs. No running, no jumping, no step ups. Missing out on all of that doesn't make for a very fit girl. Combine it with bad eating and....what you get is what seems like a wasted year.

I know, logically, that the year was far from a waste. I learned so much about myself, my life, my world. In terms of fitness goals, I learned more about hydration (learned it the hard way), about the importance of training (again, learned the hard way), more about my limitations (the very hard way). But what do I have to show for it?

Well, right now it doesn't seem like I have much to show for it at all. And that is why I need to make a change. It's time to re-up my committment. To get serious. So training starts now.

My first real test will be the Omaha Women's Triathlon, on June 3rd. By that time I hope my knee feels better so that I can jog/walk the run portion, rather than being forced to hobble the entire way. But that is something that's not really under my control. I will do my best to take care of my knee, I'll tape it whenever I workout and be extra careful on the ellipticals. I'll make sure I have the spin bike seats adjusted properly for me (a major source of pain if I'm neglectful). I'll do what I can, but if it doesn't heal it won't be something I could have controlled. It won't be my "failure".
The swim portion, I would like to be more prepared for than last year at Papio, but this isn't really my focus either. I plan to swim every other Wednesday at Montclair, the Wednesdays when we don't have Square1SocialClub. I'll put my laps in, 750meters in a row. Strengthen my shoulders and arms, practice spotting, close my eyes and practice staying on course. This should keep me reasonably strong enough that I won't be the last one out of the water, and I should be efficient enough to not tire myself out too much before the bike.
The bike....this is my goal. This is what I want to be confident about going into the race, rather than terrified of. The cure, apparently, is T.I.T.S. No, not those. Time In The Saddle. Every website and blog posting and FAQ I've found on the subject of biking or triathlons has said the same thing. They only way to get stronger, faster, better at hills, is to spend more time on the bike. So how, when I'm already so overbooked, do I accomplish that?
I've decided the only answer is to ride everyday. No excuses.

So, beginning next Monday, March 12th, I will ride. Everyday.
Depending on how chilly the mornings are I may start up again with biking to work. It may wait for next month, if there's any danger of ice it's not worth the risk, but if it's at least in the 40's or so I will start next week. This will give me 5 miles a day in the saddle. 2.5 to work, 2.5 home. Not bad, but considering I'm not just training for a 12.5 mile sprint tri bike, but also for a planned Century Ride later this summer, it's not enough. So that brings me to Friday afternoons.

I get off work at 2:30. This leaves a big chunk of day for activities like long rides. And so, beginning on March 16th, I plan to ride on Friday afternoons. Again, this depends on the weather. I'm not insane. I will not ride in the snow, or in 50mph wind gusts. I do not want hypothermia. But as soon as possible, as much as possible, this is the plan. Friday afternoon is MY afternoon. Just me and my bike. Out on the trail.

I'll devise a more specific training plan once the weather is warmer and more predictable. I need to do hill work, speed work, even longer rides. But for now, this will do. It's a start. And I can't wait to start it! This spring is going to be the best spring ever.

Trek Twenty Twelve

This past Saturday was the annual Trek Up The Tower, a race to the top of the First National Bank Tower here in Omaha. 40 flights up. For some insane reason I signed up to participate again this year. Looking at my shiny new medal I'm glad I did, but I must say the entire time and even just after I was wondering why I put myself through that.

This has been a rough year for me and Trek was just a painful reminder of how far I've slid back in some areas. I've made SO much progress mentally and emotionally, but slipped up bad with my weightloss, nutrition, and fitness. Partly this is due to injuries, they've hit me harder this year than last. But mostly it's just that I've been so focussed on my work in therapy and distracted by my out of control finances.

Last year I finished the Trek in 21:57. My goal for this year was to finish in under 19 minutes, but I would have been happy just to beat last year's time even by one second. But that was not to be.
This year, Trek took me nearly half an hour. 29:20, I believe, was my official time. There were a few factors that I couldn't control, but most of it is my fault. I'm not pleased with my time.

I am proud that I finished, I didn't quit, I didn't give up. It's more than most people can say. Not everyone signs up to climb 870 steps on a Saturday morning!

The air was bad this year. I wasn't the only one who thought so, I heard people from the gym and from work talking about it days after. Coughing fits, metallic taste in the mouth, just can't breathe right. That stuck with me for days. That was a factor that was out of my control. The race was more difficult this year because of the air.

But the real issue is, I basically completed this race wearing a 30 pound weight vest. No, not literally. Those actually aren't even allowed in the event. But figuratively. I, this week, weigh approximately 30 pounds more than I did this week last year. And THAT is incredibly frustrating. Because it's my fault.

I can't go back and redo this year, and I wouldn't want to if I could. Despite another sprained ankle, despite a lingering knee injury, despite the numbers on the scale moving in the wrong direction, I wouldn't redo this year. I've grown as a person, and that IS by far much more important than the scale or the time it takes me to finish a race. However, I am defnitely sick and tired of going in the wrong direction. So it's time to fix it.

I actually felt ready to change last Thursday. We had an AWESOME PAL class. I jumped for the first time in forever. I felt more nimble than I had in months. (Unfortunately, that was likely a bad idea, as my knee has been making me pay for it ever since). I felt like I finally COULD get back to it. Combine that with a sudden modest windfall (higher than anticipated federal tax refund, higher than anticipated wellness bonus and overtime pay on my latest check) which got my finances into better order, and I was finally able to focus on nutrition again.

This past week I've journaled every bite, down to a stick of gum I chewed on Friday night. And it paid off! Last night at PAL class I was down 3.8 pounds versus last week. Finally in the right direction again, and a pretty good number at that!

So as frustrated as I am with my poor performance at Trek, I am optimistic about my journey. It's coming into springtime. It's been almost a full two years since I started working out with Marty, and I am not the same person I was before my first bootcamp. You really can divide my life into PM and AM. Pre-Marty, After-Marty. PM was full of sadness, it felt like a not-so-slow dying out. AM is all full of hope and anticipation. AM is a much healthier place to be. :)